Parenting 101

If there is anything I have learned about parenting is there is no formula.

If you do A your kids will end up like B.

I wish that was true, but it just isn't.

I never understood why my sister in law parented the way she did until I had a boy.  I had two girls before I had a boy--and she had a boy first.

I don't care what people say boys are different than girls.  After having a boy I totally understand now why she did a lot of her parenting stuff the way she did and not the way I did them.

You can't judge parenting.  When I talk about parenting I am talking about parents who aren't on drugs or need social serves in their lives.  I am just talking basic 'normal' parenting -- and if DSS or drugs are a part of your parenting I am sorry and I pray for you and your family!

Why do I feel qualified to write on parenting?  I have 4 kids--2 girls and 2 boys.  Each are totally different--image that-- but they are awesome!  I really have been blessed/lucky to have amazing kids.  We have never had to deal with major illness or trauma.  I pray for those that have to deal with any of that.

I am just starting into the pre-teen era--so I have NO parenting advice (except my teenage years and what I have observed about teenagers from other families) when it comes to that age or older.

My daughter Squirt-she is 10 and my pre-teen. She is pretty amazing.  She is helpful, loving, obedient, smart, and just all around good girl.  She learns quickly and is a great friend.

My 2nd child, 8,  another girl, Firecracker is awesome.  She fits her name.  She wants to make people happy and is my listener--she likes to listen to the grown ups talk and know what is going on int eh world.  She is smart and works really hard when she is interested in something.

My boy, 4,  is Little Man.  He is a challenge for me, but I love him.  He likes to make people laugh and he is very interested in doing what he wants to do.  He wants to learn to read and loves school and playing with friends.  We have to remind him often that WE (parents) are the boss and he needs to listen to us and not just do what he wants.

Our little Monster, is 1 year 3 months.  We call him Monster because he had his front 8 teeth (4 on top and 4 on bottom) by his 8th month.  Right now he is pretty destructive.  He lives to empty bookshelves and drawers.  He is smiley and happy and eats a ton! He has his siblings wrapped around his finger!


Before I had kids, or even married-- I worked at a mall make-up counter.  A young couple with their young child (still in a stroller) came to my counter.  The child was drinking a milk shake.  My face must have said "How can you give that child such a horrible thing?" Because the young dad explained. "It is a milk shake. She has s cystic fibrosis and needs a high amount of calories than normal kids.  She normally gets ensure, but she had some pretty big tests today so she gets a reward of a milk shake."

I was so embarrassed. I learned quickly that I was a judgmental jerk.  I didn't know their story, but I judged them in a split second when it came to their child.

I have a soft spot for children and I don't think any child should have to suffer, but that isn't realistic.

SO back to parenting--- The first thing I want people to know is I am NOT judging you if I parent differently than  you.   I will tell you what has worked (or not worked) in my experience.

My peice of advice for parents, or anyone.  You know your child the best. You know the best way to parent them.  You know if timeout, a light swat to the bottom, or sitting and holding them while discussing their actions is the best way to discipline them.

You have been blessed with instincts to know what your child needs.  Listen to that inner voice when it says to praise your child, direct your child, or even check on your child.

If you read 5 parenting books you will have 5 different parenting styles--5 different ways to handle the same situation and 5 different outcomes.  Figure out what works best for your child (and different things will work with different kids!)

Next time (2nd Tuesday) I will give some more 'solid' parenting advice that might or might now work for you!  Aren't I helpful :)